A Fine Romance
by Melody Breeze
Summary: A short piece inspired by Jerome Kern's "A Fine Romance." [RobinRaven]


Disclaimer and Author's Note: I do not own the Teen Titans or "A Fine Romance." This is a light piece, although I couldn't help putting a couple of "points" in it. (Can you find them?) I started this story with the idea of taking a cliché and making it not-so-cliché. It didn't work out exactly as planned, but I had fun writing it. And to make up for it, I have another piece coming out (hopefully soon) that's very different. Enjoy.

A Fine Romance

Utter silence. That's all she needed right now. To forget.

"Raven?"

"No," Raven replied flatly, ignoring the knock on her door.

"Raven, I'm sorry about th-the 'incident.' Beast Boy and Cyborg are sorry, too," Robin, the Boy Wonder said. Anyone could forgive him for a mistake, anyone expect Raven right now… and maybe himself.

Raven shuddered at the thought of "the incident." That pink bunny suit… with matching slippers… and a musical video. She couldn't wait to lay her hands on Beast Boy, once he came out of hiding, that is.

Hearing no reply, Robin continued, "I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing with you."

"I _wasn't_ laughing."

"Beast Boy didn't mean any harm. He didn't realize that he had used super glue to stick on the whiskers."

Raven rubbed her nose painfully. "Sure, he didn't mean any harm. He only wanted to rip the skin off my nose."

"Sometimes, you're impossible," Robin muttered.

"Don't forget to burn that suit."

"Aw, Raven. Beast Boy worked so hard on it."

"Then he can give the suit to someone else—anyone else, as long as he keeps it out of my sight. I'm sure Starfire would appreciate his hard work. Give it to her."

"And the matching slippers?"

"And the matching slippers."

Robin took a breath. Here goes... "Raven, please come down and have dinner with us. Beast Boy refuses to come out of the broom closet until he knows you're not mad at him. Nothing like this will ever happen again. I promise."

"No."

"Raven…. Do what's best for the team. You can't avoid Beast Boy forever." Robin tried opening the door. The doorknob glowed, and the door didn't move an inch.

"Have it your way. I'm leaving," he said.

"Hmph. I know that trick, Robin. You want to make me think you left so I'll let down my guard. Don't even try it. You're not going to open this door."

There was no reply. It was completely quiet. Raven waited for Robin to give up and make a noise. Nothing. She tiptoed to the door and paused. Still quiet. Curiosity got the better of her, and she opened the door.

"You're right. You opened the door for me." Robin grinned and walked in.

Raven scowled, but didn't say anything.

"So, Raven why don't you come downstairs and we'll sort everything out with Beast Boy?"

"Why should I?" Raven asked, still glowering at Robin.

"Because we'll miss seeing you. You've spent most of this past week in your room."

"I have my reasons," she mumbled.

"You have to come."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"This has to be settled somehow…"

_

* * *

_

_A fine romance with no kisses  
A fine romance, my friend, this is  
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes  
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes._

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Paper. Paper.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Rock. Rock.

"Rock, paper, scissors."

Scissors. Scissors.

"Rock, paper, scissors…"

"Ha! Scissors beats paper!" Robin grinned triumphantly.

Raven's hand glowed. "Oh, but you forget that my paper is a special radioactive form resistant to scissors," she replied menacingly.

"But what if my scissors were ultra—"

"—But they're not."

Robin sighed in resignation. "Two-hundred and ten out of three-hundred and fifteen?"__

* * *

_A fine romance, you won't nestle  
A fine romance, you won't wrestle  
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France  
I haven't got a chance, this is a fine romance._

_597…598…599…600…_

The red ball bounced up and down. Up and down. Up and down… Robin blinked and shook his head. He had to concentrate.

"Raven, are you sure your best is seven thousand and thirty-one?"

"Yes."

_601…602…603…604…_

Robin looked at the paddle ball. He had to keep going.

"Absolutely sure?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely, positively--"

"_Yes,_" the introvert interrupted in a voice that implied Robin would be throttled the next time he asked.

_605…606…607…608…_

"I just don't see how anyone could do this seven thousand times," Robin grumbled

"Seven thousand and thirty-one," Raven corrected.

"You're not making this up, right?"

Raven gave Robin a look of mock outrage. "Of course not! In fact, I could have gotten further if the string hadn't snapped."

_609…610…611…612…_

"Wait a minute… you didn't use your powers to keep the ball moving, did you?"

_

* * *

_

_A fine romance, my good woman  
My strong, aged-in-the-wood woman  
You're calmer than the seals in the __Arctic Ocean__  
At least they flap their fins to express emotion._

"Well, I remember having staring contests when I was younger. I always won," Robin chuckled to himself.

"Fine."

"Fine what?" Robin asked, nonplussed.

"Let's have a staring contest."

"B-but…" Robin stuttered helplessly, pointing to his mask. Was Raven blind?

"I can see beyond that ridiculous mask of yours, you dolt."

Somehow, Robin wasn't surprised.

_Let the staring match begin._

He was gazing into rich amethyst eyes. What had those eyes seen? What had they known? Mesmerized, Robin strained to focus his attention. He mustn't blink. He mustn't blink. He musn't—

"You blinked," Raven said matter-of-factly.

_Game over. Winner: the reigning champion, Raven._

What was he thinking? Who could possibly win a staring contest against Raven, the ice queen? If only he could wipe that emotionless look off of her face…

* * *

"Let me get this straight. If you make me smile, I have to come downstairs. And if you can't make me smile…"

"I'll do the dishes for a week," Robin cut in.

"A month."

"It's a deal."

Robin paced the room, absentmindedly rubbing the nonexistent whiskers on his chin. Every now and then, he would pause, eyeing Raven carefully. After a few minutes, he stopped in front of her.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" he asked.

Raven raised an eyebrow incredulously.

"Just as I thought," he muttered to himself. Zany antics and silly pranks wouldn't work on Raven. He needed a different approach. Robin glanced around the room, searching for something… anything. His gaze fixed on a small picture frame on an end table. Robin stopped for a moment, taken aback. He slowly walked over to the bed and picked the frame up.

"I can't believe you kept this," he whispered.

Raven nodded slightly, looking at the photograph. The memories flooded through her all at once. There she was, sitting on the park bench, sulking. Behind the bench was Beast Boy, giving her donkey ears. (_"Raven, you're _supposed_ to smile!"_)Starfire stood beside him, facing backwards. (_"Where is this cheese you speak of?"_) On Starfire's other side, Cyborg was eating a hot dog, dripping mustard and relish all over his front. (_"I couldn't leave it behind for some vegetarian maniac to destroy!"_) In front of Cyborg and next to Raven sat Robin with that goofy smile of his.

xxx

_The Titans were walking through the park, looking about as conspicuous as the animals that had escaped from the zoo._

_"We are victorious! All the creatures have been returned to their respective homes. Let us celebrate with a song of joy," Starfire exclaimed, bubbling over with happiness._

_Beast Boy covered his ears and Raven winced as Cyborg managed to cover the alien princess's mouth just before anything more could spill out._

_"I have a better idea. I'll get us all some snacks. It's on me," Robin said quickly._

_"Yeah! Let's see. I'll have an extra-large, deluxe, one-hundred percent beef hot dog with onions, ketchup, relish, mustard…"_

_Beast Boy gagged. "I'd like a tofu burger," he stated weakly._

_Starfire, who managed to escape Cyborg's grip, piped up. "I think I shall have one of those delicious desserts consisting of frozen water and artificial coloring."_

_Robin mentally made a note of this. Then he turned to Raven. "What do you want?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"You sure?"_

_Raven paused for a moment. She wondered if the Snack Shack had any herbal tea. "Yes…I'm sure."_

_A few minutes later, the Boy Wonder came back with enough food to feed an army. He sat down by Raven and handed her a cup of herbal tea. Raven looked at him, trying to hide her surprise._

_"I must be getting too predictable," she said under her breath._

_"Maybe you should stop drinking tea at exactly __four o'clock__ every afternoon,"_ _Robin laughed._

_"What time is it?"_

_Four o'clock_

_"I should have known…" the introvert groaned._

_A shout interrupted their conversation._

_"Yo!" Beast Boy hollered. "There's a guy here who wants to take our pictures for the paper! And he wants a close-up of me!"_

_"Oh no you don't! I'm not letting a little green elf hog the front page of tomorrow's paper." Cyborg ran after him, with Starfire close behind._

_Robin got up and grabbed Raven's hand. "Come on. It'll be fun."_

_Come._

xxx

"It's too bad we couldn't get more pictures taken," Robin remarked wistfully.

"It's not my fault that the camera broke."

Robin laughed as he remembered the black ball of energy that surrounded the camera just before it exploded. "We sure do have a lot of good times together, don't we?"

"Yeah… I guess so." Raven's eyes softened.

Robin noticed that Raven's barrier was beginning to break down. It was time to finish this, once and for all.

"What in the world are you doing?" Raven's voice suddenly became tense. Robin was just sitting there, beaming at her with his trademark grin.

"What do you think I'm doing? If I keep smiling, I'm sure it will have to rub off sometime."

Raven's mind swarmed with thoughts. "That's absurd. The most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I've never seen anything so ludicrous—"

"Raven."

"What?" she mumbled vaguely. Then she was conscious of what she was doing. Her face twitched and she immediately frowned, trying to cover up.

"You smiled, and you know it."

"I most certainly did not. Just a facial tick."

"Yes you did. You have to come out of your room now," the Boy Wonder smirked.

"You can't make me."

Robin didn't answer and stepped forward towards Raven.

"Robin? What are you doing? Robin?!"

He picked Raven up and carried her downstairs.

"Robin! _Robin!!!_"

_A fine romance, with no clinches  
A fine romance with no pinches  
You never give those orchids I send a glance  
No, you like cactus plants  
This is a fine romance._

_(Oh boy, what a romance.)_

Finis


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